Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Fiction #3: Small As We Are


The window reveals the glow of the moon reflecting across the waters, painting streaks of pearly silver. The blanket of velvet is broken above. A flock of seagulls can be heard, fishing for their evening feast.
The wooden figurines are scattered across the table.
The room is empty, save for the man in front of me. He smells of a unique combination of musky cologne and the faint scent of coconut. Hazel eyes peep forth from his spectacles, and his face remains in deliberation.
I pine for the forgotten days of my youth, my mother’s roots stretching into the honeyed soil along the banks of the stream, nestled amidst the chorus of birds and the perfumes of wild strawberries and blackberry blossoms. Like a dandelion amidst a field of lavender, I feel as though I am seen as an unwanted thistle amidst a row of roses.
Leaning on the table, we peer over sixty-four squares, their black and white colors blurring into milky opal. I rub my sore eyes, stretch my aching arms, and let out a quiet yawn. Visions of checkmate bombard my mind.                
Look too quickly and you might miss me. Think too slowly and you might miss me. Who am I that someone would notice me, small and simple as I am?
My feet can feel the ground sway gently to the rhythm of the waves crashing quietly against the hull of the vessel. I feel small on this ship. I miss home. Why am I even here, bound for America? A floating palace of dreams and dreams gone by. I have to accept that we are immigrants, now.   
I am slid across the checkered ground.
He counters, gently, his hands moving his own wooden figures in a waltz. Listen, he seems to tell me. Don’t just think. Think ahead.
My eyes flit left in the direction of my compatriots. Most of them preoccupy their minds with visions of skewering his king and forking his rooks. Their eyes, fixed ahead to the other side, seem like pools of pride and vengeance. I feel alone. Yet the one in armor, the knight, nods at me, acknowledging my presence. I remember his words.
Like organs in a body, we must work and function as an entity of one. Dare we envy one another? Dare we compete with one another? If we are to find freedom in America, if we are to start anew from the pains of war left behind in our motherland, let us be patient, bearing with one another in love. Are we not all members of one body? Molded from the same, yet each of us unique. Each has a role. Each needs the other. We are in this together.
Small as we are, we matter.
Just as I reach the border of the board, the game is nearing the end. I stand, tiptoeing on the edge. What is beyond? But now, I am neither fearful nor afraid.
My eyes perceive a grin beneath his bearded chin. His fingers press the clock, the seconds ticking down, the hand swinging like a pendulum, and yet time stands still. I reach the edge.
I am transformed from a pawn into a queen. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am spoken for, part of a story of mini galaxies, years of happiness and heartbreak compressed into a few hours over a black-and-white checkered board decked with wooden figurines.
My grandfather points outside the window. We have arrived.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Fiction #2: Now and Then

It is Sunday morning. 10:45 AM. They should have left 30 minutes ago. At the designated meeting place --- the lamppost on campus, the one that looks like it belongs in Narnia --- Maria is standing, waiting for her brother to show up. Exasperation blankets her face. They should have been walking down the hill by now, chatting with the rest of students who also decided to brave the cold weather today. And yet, he is nowhere in sight. Wrapped in woolen mittens, her hands fumble for her phone.
A few beeps are all she is greeted with as she leaves yet another message. Please come, her face pleads. Her legs fold under fatigue onto the curb of broken concrete.
Just last week he did this to me too, she recalls, feeling as though he had abandoned her as regret spilled out of his voice on the other end of the line, confessing, “Sorry, can’t do dinner tonight” for the thousandth time. All Maria wanted was to share a meal with him. To spend time with him. To remind him that though the wind will sucker punch his stomach and knock him down onto the ground --- then give him a few seconds to stand up, only to knock him back down, relentlessly --- he has a sister who will sucker punch back the wind.
She looks down the road. Five more minutes is her ultimatum, then she will start walking to church. Her phone flounders through her fingers as she plays with it, rotating it nimbly again and again and again. A father strolls by with two little girls perched in their red wagon. Her eyes flit down the road once more, then twice. The red wagon moves farther and farther away.
Five-years-old, a little boy races down the driveway in his little green truck, decked in the widest grin, tiny pearls of teeth sticking out as jovial laughter emanates from his mouth and fills the cerulean sky.
Maria stands up, stretches her back, irons out her dress with her hands. Threads of gold begin to weave through the curtain of gray clouds. And then, before taking one step, she hears feet padding down the pavement a few yards away. Her eyes flit back up the street, and there he is, barreling down towards her, waving his arms. And for a second, she sees her little brother racing down the driveway in his little green truck.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Fiction #1: The Leader

              No food for one week.
  That was the ultimatum.
  The women were lined up, their backs against the wall of battered concrete.     
  Having never been to this side of the ship in days past, Vienna’s eyes flitted to and fro, from the yellowed bulb hanging on the ceiling to the hum of the generator in the deck below. Isabelle’s legs quivered in the cold of the dawn, her feet sensing the waves of salt water pummeling the hull of the vessel. Anita stood still.
 The jangle of keys, metal and sharp, emanated from down the corridor, characteristic of only one person they knew on the entire ship. The tap of his shoes, rhythmic and deliberate, echoed.
 His brows pierced the tense atmosphere. “At half past two this morning, I woke up to the clangor of a crash, nearly soundless. Yet not invisible,” Ares spoke matter-of-factly. “One of you stole a fruit from the tree in the atrium.” His mouth tightened. “Unless the culprit reveals herself, you know the consequences.”
 Yes, they knew the consequences. It was not she who committed the crime, yet Anita understood why someone else would. Perhaps all that person wanted was a taste of heaven.
 Seconds passed, which became minutes, and soon enough Anita realized no one would confess. Her mind told her she will be punished, beaten and dragged, yet she thought of the daughter of Isabelle, and the brother of Vienna, and her eyes did meet her neighbors’. The lives of these fellow human beings bore greater weight to her than her own.
 Every other back remained against the wall.
 She stepped out from the shadows and into the light.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

How Can We Face Disappointment?

You taught me to be brave
In the faces of humiliation
In the scars of loneliness

To dream big
Not for me but for a greater purpose
One planned before I was even born

You are teaching me to be brave 

You are reaching me
In the fog of evening dew
Amidst typhoon bruising winds
To be brave

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Day 5 in Hong Kong: To Whom Does the Kingdom of Heaven Belong?

Have you ever gotten your heart broken?

Have you ever regretted something you wish you had or had not done?

Have you ever feared for your future?

Have you ever felt rejected?

Unworthy?

Alone?

Confused?

Anxious?

Have you ever thought about why we exist?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then the Kingdom of Heaven is for you.

Today at the camp, many children answered yes -- they answered yes to not only these questions, but more importantly answered yes to God.

I was just blown away by the work God is doing everywhere around the world!!! It is by God's grace that their hearts are being opened.

When the children were asked if they wanted to accept Christ, several hands were raised.

One of the YWAM leaders prayed a prayer with all the children who raised their hands.

I basically bawled because God moves in awe-inspiring ways. What does God want most of all? God wants us! He wants us to be His children. He wants us to know that He loves us. He wants more and more people to share in His kingdom.

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." +Matthew 19:14
 

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Baffling Baubles in Hong Kong

Day 4 has ended.

But the craziness hasn't.

This place definitely brings a whole new kaleidoscopic light to the meaning of "quirky." Here are 6 items I found in Hong Kong that did just that.

1) "The Selfie Stick." what has the world come to...


2) "Fried Pears." Because regular pears aren't good enough.
3) "Paper Soap." Perhaps Purell has some competition now.
4) "The Heart of a Chicken." This is proof I'm willing to eat anything.
5) "The Head of a Chicken." 'nuff said.
6) "The Push-Up Drink." All the estrogen you need, now in a portable bottle for your convenience.
Honestly though, I sometime question mankind's sanity when things like "The Push-Up Drink" exist in this world... this was an actual advertisement in one of the MTR train stations. Surprised, baffled, and a bit weirded out are just some of the adjectives that described my feelings when I first glanced at the ad. #facepalm

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Finding Him In Hong Kong

3 flights and more than 24 hours later, jet-lagged and hungry and bearing the brunt of a viral infection, I finally arrived in Hong Kong. My ears actually haven't popped yet, so I basically can't hear out of my ears. Muffled sounds fill my day. And I'm so congested I need two boxes of tissues on my bedside table. Two weeks of traveling in northern Europe was absolutely amazing, but a pesky virus probably found its way to me.

But that ain't gonna stop me from trying to serve God here in Hong Kong!

This week, I'm working at a Christian camp for underserved kids. We are teaching them English through drama, reading, art, and movement (ie dancing!).YWAM (Youth With A Mission) pretty much organized the whole program, and it's so encouraging to hear the stories of YWAMers of why they chose to go serve in Hong Kong, why they took 5 months to 7 years out of their life to just devote their whole selves to the work of reaching out to the lost.

It's also been fun to meet up with some friends from Hong Kong. They've taken us around and showed us hidden gems of the area... Look out for a picture of a chicken heart!!! Which I may or may not have eaten...I'll post more about that later haha.

For now, here are some pictures (selfies) of me and some of the kids!

P.S. hopefully my health can return to normalcy, and if/when it does, I will be so much more appreciative of the ability to hear!!! Don't take hearing for granted!!!

selfie #1

selfie #2

selfie #3

selfie #4

peace!

Friday, May 9, 2014

haikus

fog, chilled by frost i
wondered and wandered into

blizzards of anger.

fog, chilled by frosty
winds blowing east and west and
pounding in my heart

wondered and wandered
into depths Ii dared dug holes
in, unknowingly.

from where do i run
from falling down crevices
from where have i run.

shed this old life of
confusion, blindness, bring me
clarity, my God.


Monday, May 5, 2014

Among Strangers

This past Saturday, I took the 3 PM train to Boston to hang out with some high school friends from Wellesley. It was a blast eating Taiwanese food, grocery shopping in an Asian market, and posing silly poses as if we were all back in middle school haha.

On the trip back to Providence later that night, I found myself among strangers.
I think a double whammy occurred that day: the combination of a Bruins game and Red Sox game on the same day made for a really crowded train ride.
But among strangers, I still found God.

I love it when strangers talk with each other and then they don't become strangers so much anymore.
It makes me smile to see passengers on the train who didn't know each other talk about commonalities (like the Red Sox lol).

Laughter echoed through the train.

Reminded me of how God made us to be in companionship with (first and foremost) Him but also with others.

I personally am still not as brave enough to talk to the stranger sitting next to me in the railcar. But slowly and surely I trust that God is building in me a spirit of courage, and not one of timidity.

Perhaps all it takes is just a mustard seed of courage to initiate the conversation and speak the first word.

Song of the Week!

It's the FINAL COUNTDOWN...
School is ending but first gotta endure through final exams!
But in all circumstances, even when it's 2 AM and I'm still cramming for Orgo, I will have joy, knowing that nothing could ever separate me from the love of Christ :).

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"
+Philippians 4:4 

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

2 AM thoughts on j u s t i c e

I'm thankful that I get to go to a school full of students who are SO passionate about social justice. Fighting injustice. Seeking peace. Active, not passive.

This part of Brown's culture has catalyzed my own thoughts about good and evil, about justice and injustice. 

Here are my 2 AM ('cuz orgo > sleep...) thoughts that I typed on my iPhone: 

God is a God of justice
He is perfect in every way: in His love, in His mercy, in His forgiveness.
And He is also perfect in His justice.

We cry out against any injustice or wrongdoing or pain or suffering we see.
I absolutely admire how students at Brown especially in particular are so active and engaged and motivated and determined, especially in the realm of justice.

Today I had been sitting in the TWC ("Third World Center") for our Filipino Alliance Senior Send-off / food eating party. Looking up at the wall before me, I see posters of cultural groups and raising awareness and advocating for freedom. For example, the Black history month poster says "none of us are free until all of us are free: embracing our common humanity".

I want all the slaves and the wrongfully imprisoned and the persecuted and the politically chained and the dignity-stripped and the oppressed to be free.

I also want people to know that God says we can be free in Him. 

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. +2 Corinthians 3:17

Freedom from my own selfishness. Freedom from the judgment of others. Freedom from sin. Freedom to be brave. Freedom to move mountains. Freedom to love others like God does.


That, my friends, is true freedom.

Anyway I digress but the whole point I'm trying to say is, if we want justice now for so many things, how much more does God want justice and is perfect in His justice.

That's why as sinners we can't go to heaven to be with God on our own accord, out of our own will. We can't be good enough. Can't earn our way to heaven.

That's why God, in His perfect love, came down to rescue us. Can you believe it? Jesus wiped away my sins, forgave me, died and rose from the dead just so we could believe and go to heaven.

A clean slate. 

Maybe people wonder why the world is so bad and there's so much suffering: it's our fault because we are sinners. Through Adam and Eve's rebellion, sin first entered the world. But God came to save us. He didn't have to at all, but He did because He loves us.
Maybe people wonder, why can't everyone go to heaven? I don't know for sure (we don't know everything about God!) but God's Word, the Bible, says that anyone who believes in Christ will go to heaven. 

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. +John 3:16

We have to be cleansed of our sins first before meeting God---who is perfect and holy and awesome in every way--face to face.
That's why Christ came to save us.
Amazing!!!!

Song of the Week!

God is the God of second chances. In Christ, we are reborn.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 
+2 Corinthians 5:17

Monday, April 21, 2014

Song of the Week!

In the aftermath of Jesus' death and resurrection, what is your response?

Monday, April 14, 2014

good news

It’s that time of year again: chocolate (+ peanut butter n’ chocolate) eggs, colorful plastic eggs teeming with jelly beans, days so sunny that we gladly rock our sunglasses, the bubbling excitement of summer right around the corner…

Spring is a wonderful time.

After the icy winter, complete with “frozen fractals all aaarround”, we survived and made it through and, dare I say it, thrived.

Yes, even in the midst of the snowstorms --- all the exams and stress and homework and heartache --- we were carried through and are finally in spring.

I like this metaphor of winter and spring to describe the times in our lives when we feel so beat down and broken. Winter is like this life: there is beauty in the glistening snow, joy in the laughter of children sledding down a hill, love in the eyes of family members on Christmas morning. But there are also harsh realities: the bitter cold, the death of flowers, the long, dark nights. So, too, is it with life. There is happiness and heartache in every part of our lives.

And yet, these challenges and tribulations strengthen us, shaping our character and forging fortitude in our hearts, minds, and souls. Who would we be without all the experiences we’ve had in our lives --- the good, the bad, the embarrassing (lol).

Now that it’s spring, I appreciate spring so much more after having gone through a tough winter. Continuing my analogy (bear with me haha), I love spring because it gives us a glimpse of heaven. Sunny days, flowers blooming, a gentle wind breezing by. And so much more than my mind could ever imagine. “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

This world is broken, many crevices filled with darkness - poverty, modern day slavery, illness, death, hunger, pain, depression, war, and everything in between. Expect suffering, because this world became corrupted by sin.

But Jesus declared, “In this world you will have troubles, but have courage! I have overcome the world” John 16:33

There is a light, not only at the end of the tunnel, but here, right now, being offered to you.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Song of the Week!

"The Mission / How Great Thou Art"

Love The Piano Guys. They have such a heart for Christ and for glorifying God with the talents He gave them. How great is our God!
Grateful for God's beauty manifested in the world around us.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

when things don't go the way i thought they would...

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”
+ Isaiah 55:8-9

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Song of the Week!

If you're feeling burdened by the weight of the world, if you're feeling tired and worn, there's Someone who can give you rest.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Sunday Tidbits

"Credo ut intellegam".

I believe in order that I may understand.

The fact is, I don't know everything about God. I can't fully comprehend how He works, why this happens, why that doesn't happen... my mere mind fails to wrap itself around everything there is about God.

1 Corinthians 2:9 reminds me that... '"What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived" -- the things God has prepared for those who love him--'

God exists outside the limitations of my brain.

But that's faith.

"Credo ut intellegam". It's Latin for "I believe in order that I may understand."

I believe in order that I may understand _____.

I believe in order that I may understand 
Science. 
People. 
Justice. 
Morality. 
Nature. 
The mind. 

I believe in order that I may understand Love.